Chapter 9: Trayvon — Intercourse, enjoy, and Like in Prison2

Chapter 9: Trayvon — Intercourse, enjoy, and Like in Prison2

Just just What had been the probabilities things could wind up violently with me, of course, getting the shitty end between us? Might Trayvon force himself on me personally in a manner that I happened to be reluctant to just accept but not able to stop?! We were holding maybe perhaps not idle concerns. I thought long and difficult about it, however in the end We decided that no, he’dn’t accomplish that. Centered on exactly just just what, you may well ask? Good question — we don’t understand.

Another consideration had been, what was Trayvon getting away from this relationship? Demonstrably, he’d have a intercourse partner as well as minimum some use of my canteen account. We knew he previously simply no cash, in which he knew that I experienced at the very least some cash. Maybe he had been actually interested in me personally in which he had been a mooch — we represented the opportunity to meet both requirements! Ended up being there such a thing undoubtedly incorrect with this? As of this very very early phase I told myself that so long I was okay to let him have a soup or a honey bun when he wanted something as he didn’t get too greedy. Why shouldn’t I reward him for their relationship? In the end, we endured to obtain one thing from this too — unlike my situation at Swift Annex I’d have jail bad-ass on my part in the event I got harassed or threatened.

Did Trayvon have HIV or other STD? Needless to say he said no and said he previously to have tested periodically and blah blah blah. I did son’t press the problem or insist upon seeing the test outcomes. Rather I inquired myself — keep in mind, this person ended up being assigned to kitchen responsibility — Would my state’s DOC assign some guy with HIV to this sorts of work? I’d to trust the clear answer ended up being no, no chance. Other inmates later on laughed inside my self- confidence in DOC! Additionally, he wasn’t using any meds — either K.O.P. (“keep on person”) or solitary dosage. Consequently we judged him become healthier.

Had been I the actual only real guy he had been striking on or are there other people — either there within my dorm or in your kitchen where he worked sixdays per week? Did I value that? A jail dorm is mostly about minimal place that is private can reside in, thus I could see the vast majority of Trayvon’s interactions with others. He previously other buddies, black & white. Achieved it appear to be he had been striking on some of those dudes? Solution — no. As to I must’ve cared or I wouldn’t have been paying so much attention whether I cared. But we told myself we cared maybe maybe not away from jealousy but because I happened to be nevertheless racking your brains on their motives that are real concerned about getting an STD.

We asked myself: me unfaithful to my ex-wife with whom I hoped to reconcile when I got out if I do this does that make? Exactly exactly What would which means that? We had been divorced!

Could carrying this out somehow turn me personally homosexual after an eternity to be that is straight minimum because it relates to grownups? I did son’t understand yet because I hadn’t had this experience yet. But we thought — no. I happened to be building an exception that is special this “friend with benefits, ” an exception that could end whenever we finished. We thought, “Trayvon is just a situation that is unique. What other young black colored dudes may be enthusiastic about a mature white guy? ” Thus far, i did son’t feel any gayer. I happened to be simply messing around and having some disgusting fun. It had been a jail thing.

Before looking at the possibility advantages Trayvon needed to provide being a “friend with advantagesthat I did not think about ahead of time — although in hindsight I really should have” I need to mention one last rather serious problem! That has been, assume we had been discovered? Suppose rumors because I was spending a lot of time hanging around Trayvon’s bunk and we’re smiling at each other a lot about us began to fly around the dorm just? Exactly exactly What would we do, if such a thing, to squelch rumors that are such?

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